Mummy kale passed down two recipes that I use at least once a week in one format or the other, the first of these is a secret BBQ sauce which I am afraid must remain secret for now, the second of which is the best steak sauce you will find.

This sauce is remarkably easy and has just two ingredients (3 if being fancy) yet manages to achieve a rank of 9.6/10 on the tasty scale of taste (TSOT)

First you need to find yourself some steak, maybe you go to the butchers?, maybe your supermarket?…I hate TV chefs ranting about using expensive produce, but in the case of this steak…it is worth it, have it less often to save the pennies, but better steak does taste much better.

Stage one, get your pan as hot as your dare (aga fans will be sorry to see that today we are cooking on gas) bob your steak on its side and give the fat a bit of heat to render down

Now fry as normal, until 80% cooked to your liking…we now prepare our wonderful sauce which is…..a beef oxo cube mixed into cream…thats it.

now we are ready to make some fun

is your pan hot? – if you are feeling fancy, now is the time to pour in some whisky.

I think my pan was a little hot. 0.3 seconds after this photo was taken a fireball the size of 4 large things stacked ontop of each other erupted from my pan.

We now shimmy, we shimmy that pan like we are on TV and need to impress the viewer with our shimmy…shimmy! shimmy the pan!

Now add our tasty oxo and cream

Cook for a few minutes and rejoice in a taste sensation!

This evening Im attempting what I hope is a traditional Lancashire hot pot. The aga is on a mediumish heat. The cat is entertained by a potato…let us begin!

You will need some of this:

No doubt your potatoes will look better than these I found at the bottom of my veg basket (yes I have a veg basket) Before you start, you will need to drink that glass of wine.

Stick a nice heavy pan on your heat source (no doubt your heat source will be cleaner than mine!) when hot, fry your lamb bits at hot as you dare to seal

Remove to oneside and now do the same with the liver. Ive never really cooked with liver before…the after taste always puts me off, I hear the way forward with liver is either really fast or really slow…we’re going really slow.

Put the liver to one side, now we need to fry an onion or two in that lovely oil

The best part…when nice and soft, add some flour and BEAT LIKE MAD with a wooden spoon, let all the days stresses out..most of my stresses revolve around full stops and quote marks being put in the wrong place and bringing down an entire site.

Maybe Alice from accounting borrowed your illuminated novelty unicorn pen and never brought it back? Maybe Jez from the trendy company across the road parked in your place this morning with his shiny shiny car (Do you think he washes it every week?) ?…let it all out, show Alice and Jez you wont take that type of behaviour, STIR, beat, mush those onions into the flour and oils….stir! stir!

…Then add stock (we are an oxo family) a bit at a time and continue showing Alice and Jez that you wont be messed with.

And here we are with our tasty base, now add the lamb and liver back and take off the heat.

We now need to slice a potato or two and arrange on top

You’ll notice my degree in illustration coming in use with my arrangement.

Now we need to cover our tasty friend with tin foil and place into a low low oven…I set our aga to ‘quite cold, but still a bit warm’ – With anything like this, the longer its in there, the better.

Mine has now been in for 4 hours, Im going for a bath, and will pop back to post the results.

Now this must be better than a blog post about DIV positioning or some statistics that nobody cares about?